The Dog House Rules...

Dear Diary...There are rules in this house...yep...several of them...but I seem to be the one who has the most rules to follow...:(... Some are easy ones and others can be next to impossible to follow...  Debbie tells me the rules EVERY morning before she leaves for work... and I mean EVERY morning...gosh...I'm not stupid...I do remember them...don't always follow them ...:)...but I remember...1)...Be a "good dog" while I'm away...this is an easy one...I'm always good...at least by my definition...2)...No peeing or pooping on the floor or any place else for that matter...Now I really am pretty good at this one...except during thunder storms... or if I get scared...or if I didn't get enough time outside before they left...or if the humans are gone more than 8 hours...see...none of the exceptions are my fault...:)...3)...No rooting around for food...this one is kinda difficult to follow...a hungry WonderDog is completely capable of obtaining whatever she wants...I have a "reach" you have to see to believe...no morsel of food is safe from me...I can open doors...unzip zip lock bags...open a locked trashcan...which leads me to ...4)...NO TRASHCAN DIVING !!!...now if perfectly good food wasn't put in the trash to begin with there wouldn't be a problem here...did you know that the inside of yogurt containers are delicious and so are paper plate leftovers??...I've even been known to eat used paper napkins...try it some time...it's good ...and lastly ...5)...LEAVE THE CAT ALONE !!!...Ok..this one is impossible to enforce...Maggie teases me... I can be walking along minding my own business and she bats her paw at me...(from the other side of the gate...the little chicken)...and if I don't notice her she meows until I do...she hisses at me...and gets all "puffed up" about nothing...Her Royal Highness rules this house and I suffer for it...So...The Dog House Rules...trying to keep them gets me in the "dog house" quite frequently...On the up side though...the humans in this house are pretty understanding and I don't stay in trouble for very long...all I have to do is a few of the "tricks" I've been taught and and they are putty in my paws...:)...Love until next time...Lucey the WonderDog...P S ...I heard the humans talking about some kind of "challenge" that involves water...I smell a bath coming on...:/

Caught In The Act...

Dear Diary...Caught...I got caught...and Debbie seemed to think that it was top priority to get my picture before attempting to get the bag away from me...If that's the case then this diet thing can't be that important...BECAUSE she ran to get the camera that gave me the chance to finish off the rest of the potato chips in the bag...and they were tasty too...when questioned by Larry as to HOW and WHY I had the bag of chips the answer was that they were "stale" and thrown away...ummmmm...tasted fine to me ... if that's what stale is then I'm all for it...Now...about this picture...you need to understand that it's not ME at my best...not the most flattering picture of ME either...I'm much cuter with my head and face showing...but potato chips being thrown in the trash is a crime...and putting your fancy pink toolbox on the top of the trashcan won't keep me out ...I'm stronger than you think Deb...how do you like being outsmarted by a WonderDog ???...probably no more than I like having an unflattering picture of me out there for all the world to see...Don't mess with ME ...Waiting on your next mistake...and it will happen...Lucey the WonderDog...P S ...I'm eyeing some cookies on the counter...move those over toward the edge just a couple of inches more...Thank You...:)