Do I Know The Meaning Of...???

Dear Diary...Do I know the meaning of the word "NO" ???...well of course I do...Now that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to follow the order but I DO know what it means...There are days when I just plain don't feel like following the rules....and you can't tell me that humans always obey the rules either...I've watched...I've listened to it...I know...So that being said why can't I occasionally have those days when the rules can be broken ???...I know very well that the couch is a forbidden spot to sleep...so what...you do it...and I also know that chasing Maggie isn't allowed but she deserves it most of the time...and trashcan diving...well...you're the one who put the tempting treat in there so BACK OFF !!!...Ya know...some days I just don't want to take a bath...or chase the ball...or go outside...and  if I'm asleep...good grief...don't wake me up for bathroom duty !!!...I'll let you know when I need to go ...even if it is 3am...How would you like someone to do that to you ???...Call me "grumpy" or "bad dog"...you deserved to be growled at !!!...In the last few weeks I've put up with mosquito bites on parts of me I don't care to discuss...and the fleas...well...there's a special place that I'm certain is reserved just for them when they die because they bit me first and got a dose of the medicine I've also had to have lately...and the baths that I normally love ???...not so great on scratched sensitive skin...Do I have an attitude problem ???...you bet I do...and rightly so...I'm heading back to the spot where my bed used to be (I haven't got the bed back yet...thank you to the fleas for that one too )...I'm taking another nap...I'd appreciate it if the humans and that stupid cat would leave me alone...Not feeling the love for much of anything...Lucey the WonderDog...P S...And someone needs to tell the humans that as much as I love my Ohio State sweater I've had it on for four days now and it's not mixing with the warmer weather we've been having...I'd like to have it washed for the next game...and altered...I am 15 pounds lighter than when you got it for me...Another P S...Sorry...<3

She Thought She Had It Figured Out...Wrong !!!

Dear Diary... She thought she had it figured out...She really did...but she didn't !!!...Debbie thinks that when I hear Larry coming home I'm running to find "just the right toy" to greet him ... well...sort of...but not totally...I DO run to get a toy for him...and I AM real excited about it...but I also run to find Maggie and tell her that Larry's home...I always run to the stairway or the bathroom...(Her Royal Highness's favorite hideouts)...to tell her he's here...IF I find her I bark and bark and BARK to try to get my point across...that usually gets me in a lot of trouble...:(...All this time Debbie thought that I was barking to get attention...REALLY ???...I don't need to bark to get attention...I'm the champion of "being noticed"...and if I wanted attention for myself do they really think I would bring HRH Maggie along with me ???... Here I am...trying to be a "good dog" and spread the word through the house that Larry is here...I'm even willing to share a bit...and just a bit...of my time with Larry with Maggie but ... trouble...nearly every time...:/...maybe now that she knows what I'm really doing Debbie won't get after me to be quiet...Looking forward to BOTH Larry and Debbie getting home from work...Love...Lucey the WonderDog...P S ...I wonder if I tried to learn "cat language" I would be better at talking to Maggie ?...Debbie seems to be able to do it... but then she's the only one in the house who seems to understand that stupid cat...Oh No !!!...could they have a secret way of communicating ?... not liking the sound of this... not one bit...now I'm feeling threatened...must.learn.cat.language.must.learn...

What's That Smell ???...It Wasn't Me...

Dear Diary...What's that smell ???  It wasn't me...Honest it wasn't...when I notice it I just leave the room...what's the big deal anyway ?...I have also noticed that the humans give each other funny looks and then start searching the room...for what ?!?...Did it occur to any of them that Maggie could be the cause of the mystery smell ???...I'm tired of them always assuming it was me...:(...Good Grief...how could I be the blame...I've had more baths lately than any WonderDog should...at least two a week and I'm told that it will continue until the bug population in the back yard is under control...I'm the one who is in this house all the time with that cat and I know better than them the stuff she does when they aren't here...Strange smells...stuff out of order...fur on the furniture...toys everywhere...Yeah...blame the DOG...blame LUCEY...blame ANYONE but the cat...all the while Maggie is quietly "grooming" herself and looking "oh so innocent"...she's not fooling me... just another problem for the WonderDog to try her best to solve,..Speaking of problems...I need to talk to my humans about the new dog food they got for me...I really don't want to hurt any ones feelings but ...I don't like it...it doesn't taste like my old stuff and it gives me a bit of a stomach ache... I saw a commercial on the TV about something called "indigestion"...I will have to find a way to talk to Debbie about that...Missing my old "diet" food and wishing I had it back...Lucey the WonderDog...P S ...Guess what ??? My old food IS back...Debbie sent Larry to get it and she said to HURRY...She also bought new candles for the house...they smell wonderful...:)

It's THAT Time Of Year Again...

Dear Diary...It's THAT time of year again...What time of year is that ?...Flea and tick season...and around here there has been an explosion in the flea population...Having a creek in your own backyard is really a cool thing...most of the time...but this year the bugs have been nothing short of a disaster !!!...You can't go out there...and its not just me...the humans aren't wild about it either...:(...so...that being said why would they expect me to want to go out there to ...well...to do what I need to do every few hours...I should start at the beginning...the whole mess started several days ago...I tried not to let them know just how miserable I was and didn't cry until Debbie had gone upstairs to bed...(I really should have closed the bathroom door)...but she heard me and came down to see what the problem was...she caught me crying and scratching...I could tell she was upset...she promised to call the vet in the morning and tried right then to give me a bath...but I wanted nothing of it...I just didn't want be touched anywhere...but she kept her word and called the next day ...first thing too !...I had already had my flea medicine for the month and Debbie wasn't sure just what else she could do...The doctor said I really needed that bath and told Debbie about more medicine that I could take...So...I put my WonderDog "Big Puppy Panties" on and let them give me that bath that I didn't want...Wow...I should have caved in the night before...it was great...and it smelled good too...I got shampooed 3 times !!!...then Debbie gave me a peanut butter covered Dorito...one of my favorite things ever...and shortly after that I took a nice long nap !!!...Thinking back on that I wonder what else was on that Dorito besides peanut butter ?!?...I'm much better now and feel more like my old self...Debbie said not to worry and it's not my fault...the mosquitoes and fleas and bugs were extra bad this year and the good old Frontline isn't working like it usually does...and I can't take the flea "pills"...they make me sick...as for "going" outside...seems I still have to do that...:(...Good Grief ...why go where I know very well the problem resides ?!?...then its brushing and vacuuming and vacuuming and brushing...good thing I'm sleeping better these days...I hate that vacuum cleaner...Gotta go...I've had my Dorito and I feel a nap coming on...Lucey the WonderDog...P S ...and at some point during this the humans took my bed and MY BLANKET away from me...I've been promised a new cover on my bed and a new blanket...after a killing frost...someone want to explain that to me ???