There Was A Mystery Smell...

Dear Diary...There was a mystery smell...you know...the kind of smell that shouldn't be there but you can't figure out just what it is...Could I smell it ???...Yeah...sure I could... I'm a dog...we have great sniffers...but I was used to it so it didn't bother me...It wasn't so great with Debbie though...she was determined to find it...she asked Larry but he didn't know...Ashley noticed it but she couldn't figure it out either...I actually witnessed Debbie crawling on the floor on all fours just like me...sniffing the living room carpet...( HEY !!!...that's my job )...she still couldn't figure it out...so she turned to the carpet cleaner...:(...I hate that thing...the vacuum makes a noise that I can hardly stand but the cleaner is much worse... the sound hurts my ears and the thing really scares me...but...she used it anyway...I swear she really loves cleaning the carpet...so I'm watching her clean away and the next thing I knew I was getting a bath  !!!...seems that when the cleaner got to the place that is "my spot" to relax and watch TV with the humans she found the smell...guess it was me...:(... that could explain why I was used to it...Now I LOVE baths...really I do... the water is warm and I get brushed and petted ... and talked to real nice...(I think they think I'm afraid or something...NOT !!!... ) but I'll never let on because I love the attention...then they used lots of fluffy warm towels to dry me and I get to go on the floor furnace to dry...but the fun part is getting to run around the house as fast as I can over and over again ...that's the best way to dry...so now I'm clean and all brushed out and look great...Debbie swears I'm a different color than I was ...Oh ...and I let her brush my beard...now normally I don't like that but Debbie said that I should have it done...Ladies with beards should always look their best...AND it occurred to me during all this that not once have I seen Maggie get a bath...she doesn't know what she's missing...:)...Got some extra attention and loving it...Lucey the WonderDog...P S ...Debbie has brought it to my attention that cats HATE baths...hummmmmmm....you know something...I would give up weeks worth of dog treats to see that cat get a bath... I think it would be worth all the destruction and blood loss...:)

I Think They're On To Me...

Dear Diary...I think they're on to me...Just when I thought I had finally gained control of this household over the cat I find that I have NO control...My persistence and constant barking for more food just doesn't seem to be working anymore...Someone ...somewhere...has gotten to them...They let me bark...and all I get is the normal amount of food I used to get in the "before time"...you know...the time when all I got was the lousy diet stuff...I'm not real sure what happened but I think maybe the vet is the culprit...Larry went there a couple of days ago to get more of that diet food for me ... ( I'd blame Maggie if I thought she was really smart enough to place a phone call but it had to be Larry...there's no way Maggie smarter than me)... the next thing I knew none of my tricks worked anymore...:(... The humans have ganged up on me...I can only imagine what terrible advise he had for them and it sure looks like they fell for whatever nonsense he told them...All this time I thought he liked me...:(...I've barked until my bark is hoarse...I've barked until I got put outside...I barked until THEY went outside...and me going outside isn't a nice walk either ...It's me leashed  to the porch all by myself ...sometimes after dark...and this morning Debbie got after me...She didn't yell...believe me that would have been easier...she talked real stern like she REALLY meant business and told me how disappointed she was in my behavior...SHEESH...that's the worse kind of lecture...All I could do was look as sorry as I knew how...use my best puppy eye look...and walk away with my head down...I went to my bed and stayed there for awhile...I figured staying out of her way was the best thing...I've witnessed this before with Ashley and Remy...When Debbie is so upset she doesn't yell that means BIG trouble... So like I said...it's back to the "before time"...all I'll get is two

meals a day...my treat ball once a day...my padded bed with blankets for comfort that is right next to my toy box...(that's full)...oh and my filtered water and my matching sweater and collar...all this... such as it is... while I'm forced to look at the overflowing food dish that belongs to Maggie... I thought I had all the time in the world to pester them and get my way...guess I was wrong...:(...It's quite possible I've met my match...Puzzled...But trying to be a good dog...Love...Lucey...P S...Oh...Maggie...I saw that "smug" look on your face this morning after my lecture from Debbie...perhaps she needs to find out about that hairball you coughed up after she left for work this morning...we'll see whose so loved then...........

Well...They're Back..

Dear Diary...Well...they're back...we have guests in the backyard...they've been here lots of times before...I remember...Debbie says that they are geese from someplace called Canada...Now I've never been to this Canada place but Larry and Debbie have...they said that all the people there are really nice and super friendly but apparently these geese things aren't like that at all !!!...Debbie has warned me not to get too close...(she doesn't get that close either !!!) She said that they are bigger than I think...they could chase me and that they probably have baby geese close so I had better leave them alone...Debbie loves to watch them and takes pictures of them... she said that there are a lot of other families of these creatures by the creek...I guess she is right...I hear plenty of noise back by the creek and overhead in the sky..I have tried barking back and starting a friendly conversation with them but they will have nothing of it ...For being guests you would think that they would be more polite...they strut around the backyard like it belongs to them...and swim in the creek water like its their own personal pool...and if I come out side ...or anyone else really...they make this weird honking noise ...turn their backs on us  and make it clear they aren't happy about it...Such manners !!!...They seem to make Debbie happy though so I guess I'll have to be ok with it...Soon there will be more of them when they bring their babies out for a swim...I'll have to be on my best behavior ...Debbie will insist...They must not have a human family anywhere to tell them about the social graces...You know what ?!?...I've decided that they couldn't possibly be from Canada...they just aren't polite enough !!!  Until next time...Love as always to my readers...Lucey the WonderDog...

I've Been A Pest Lately...

Dear Diary...I admit it...I've been a pest lately...a really bad pest...The humans in the house didn't even have to tell me this either even though they have repeatedly said it...I know what I am...AND I'm doing it on purpose too... I want more food !!!...this crazy diet food gives me more energy...more energy means more food...it's simple...what's the problem ?!?!?!...Watering down my food isn't going to work either just so you know...I'm smarter than that...Trust me...I know exactly how many pieces of food it takes to fill me up...short change me by one piece and I'll protest...smaller bowls aren't gonna cut it either...Don't ignore me...I got all the time in the world to wait on you showing up again...and my memory...oh...I'll remember that I'm missing three pieces of food...offering a toy instead of feeding me...well ok...but you better be prepared to PLAY...don't toss the ball a couple of times and ignore me again...and Deb...hiding the ball in the dishwasher won't work...I know it's in there regardless of whether I saw you put it in there...I can smell it through the shut door...I'm good...real good...got the best "sniffer" in Northwest Ohio...so...bottom line...FEED ME !!!  So I end up a 40 pound happy dog instead of a 35 pound "pest"...come on...make up your mind...I'm getting hoarse from barking all the time...and I'm sure you're near the breaking point so...GIVE IN...( I'm not !!!)...Love...Lucey the WonderDog...P S ...Do any of you know if the weather is going to get better soon ?...It has come to my attention that I may be spending more of my time outdoors...maybe even getting to camp out in the back yard !!!