Where's The Treat ?!?

Dear Diary... Where's the treat ?!?...Seriously... I did everything that was asked of me and then some...No treat...I even smiled my best smile...No treat...I saw what was happening...a new human treat was brought into the house...they were all enjoying it...some kind of "chip"...I overheard that it was supposed to be good for them and more nutritious...Okay...Getting a sample from Larry is a piece of "cake"...( something else that is seriously lacking in this house )...Larry will share with me as long as he thinks no one is watching him...I'm telling you  human treats are wwwaaaayyyy better than any so called treats for dogs...not fair !!!...These things are real tasty ...so I decided to see if just maybe Ashley would break the rules and share with me...(Deb...no chance...she's a tough one...)...I gave Ashley the best puppy look I could muster and she reached for the chip bag...she asked me to "sit"...I did...she asked me to "shake"...I did..".beg"..yep..."lay down"...got it...I even "smiled" when I did the tricks...so...where's the treat ???... Oh...there it is...one lousy chip ...all that for one chip...and a broken one at that...I'm not stupid...I know a whole chip from a piece of one... and guess what ???...that's all I got too...Debbie was standing right there...I couldn't help but notice that everyone...but me...had to have one more before the bag was mysterious whisked away...Where's the justice in all this ???   WonderDogs have rights too...I did as I was told...I really feel it was a good enough performance to be awarded the remainder of the bag...But sadly...no...I could appeal to a higher court...Thinking it over...Love...Lucey the WonderDog...P S ... I'm fairly certain the the judge in the case will be Maggie... so I lose...I've heard many times that "Tuna Breath" runs the house...

WonderDogs Have Bucket Lists Too...

Dear Diary...WonderDogs have buckets lists too...You wouldn't think that a dog would have dreams of adventure and thrills...especially one like me who just has ...well... EVERYTHING...but I do... I dream of chasing bicycles and squirrels...or being allowed to empty every trashcan in a four block radius...a big dream is being able to jump in the bathtub and eat all of Her Royal Highness Maggie's food...or being allowed to sleep on the humans fluffy bed with all the pillows and blankets...Yep... we dream...we really do...but yesterday I got to mark one of those dreams of mine off the list...it happened so quick too...so fast Larry didn't have a chance to stop it...I got to meet one of those delivery guys who dare step on my porch...this one drives a big truck and brings packages that always  make the humans in this house happy...I honestly thought that maybe he was Santa Claus...but no... Debbie calls him the UPS man ... He brought one of those packages yesterday and as Larry opened the door to get it I ran out !!!... Gosh he's a real nice guy !!!...I went all the way out to his truck with him while Larry yelled at me to come back...Good grief...I heard ya...Gimme a break ... I figured I might as well get a look at the truck while I could...Let me tell you it would be the ultimate in a "shotgun ride"...but...I  was a good WonderDog and came back to Larry and into the house... the UPS man just smiled at me ...got back in his truck and drove on... Debbie asked right away if I was good to the man and Larry said that I didn't growl or anything... I kinda like this guy...Now that doesn't mean that I won't bark at him again...I will...but that bark won't be because he's on my porch it will be so I can get the chance to cross another adventure off my list...A RIDE IN THE BIG BROWN TRUCK !!!...Until next time...Love ...Lucey the WonderDog...P S ... I wonder if the brown truck delivers dog treats and toys ... Hint...Hint...

Larry's Home !!!

Dear Diary...It's my favorite time of day...the best time...Larry's home !!!...I'm always happy to see anyone who comes to my house but my human family is the greatest...I love when Debbie comes home because she calls me "her dog" and tells me how "good" I am even when I haven't been ...(she's been known to take care of whatever mischief I've been into and never tell on me) ...and Ashley and Remy are fun too...Remy plays with me and is always willing to take me for a walk no matter what the time of day or night...and Ashley ...well...she doesn't fool me a bit ...she always acts like she doesn't really care but I know she does...most of the time she's my "defender"...but Larry...THAT'S THE BEST !!!... I run to find just the right toy to give him ...sometimes it takes three or four attempts  to get  the perfect one... then I get my blanket to offer to him too...I even go to the stairs to announce to HRH Maggie that Larry is here...I have yet to get a reaction from that cat...she just gives me "the stare" and walks away... (I honestly don't see what Debbie sees in that fur ball but there's little I can do about it...).. .Larry feeds me when he gets here...Debbie has told me that this is so I leave him alone while HE'S eating but I'd like to think it's because he loves me...I used to be able to get two suppers around here until they figured out that both of them were feeding me...now Deb waits until Larry gets here...I  can see that maybe you think that it's the food factor that I love Larry for but that's not it...I've loved him from the first day I saw him...He's the one who got me for Debbie ...he drove all the way to a place called Toledo just to get me...( I know that it's a long trip because there was talk that I might be Michigan dog because they drove so far away ...but thankfully they found me before they crossed the state line)...and he had all sorts of toys and treats for me BEFORE he ever saw me...he took me for a walk on that trip too and let me ride in the front seat of the truck on the way home...My first shotgun ride in a truck !!!...I've never forgotten that ...so ...every night I run to tell Maggie and get my blanket and a toy because I love him right back !!!...Always feeling thankful...Love...Lucey the WonderDog

He Says I Was Distracted...

Dear Diary...He says I was distracted...Larry said it...Distracted ???...I think not...I'll start at the beginning...Larry is the one who takes me out for my first morning stroll...A couple of days ago he took me outside as usual and just as I was about to do ...well...what I do out there...a rabbit had the nerve to come into MY yard and check out the property ...MY YARD !!!...well being the great WonderDog that I am I had to make sure that that bunny knew who was in charge around here...can I help it if I lost my train of thought and had to be told why Larry brought me out there ???...not my fault...and then just as I was about to resume my activity a cat decided to join the party...I'm fairly certain that it was one of Maggie's buddies that partys here when the humans are gone... I've tried to talk to HRH  Maggie about these "drifters" but she won't  listen to me... Again I had to be reminded what my mission outside was... When we got back in the house Larry said that he wasn't sure just what I had done out there because of the "distractions"... that only leads to Debbie waking me up later to go back outside before she leaves for the day...stupid rabbit...darn cat...troublemakers ... again...distracted ???...NO...my fault ???...NO... I've lived in this neighborhood for many years now and I've made it clear from the first day that this is WonderDog Country... My property...My rules... Jeepers...whats so difficult about that ??? That's not "distraction"...that's protecting my space... Feeling the need to go outside just from thinking about it ...Love...Lucey the WonderDog  P S  ... Don't get me wrong ...I love humans...I just have a problem with other furry creatures...especially the ones that I see Debbie paying attention to ... and speaking of that...I've seen an unusually high amount of cat hair on Deb lately...my competition is up to no good...

You're Not Going To Believe This !!!

Dear Diary...You're not going to believe this...My WonderDog mind is still trying to understand how  things could be taking this turn...Last night when Debbie came in the house from work she greeted me like she always does...I ran to the door and she said "Where's my dog ?"...I love it when she says that..."Her" dog...that's nice... she then checks the house over to see if I've been a "good dog" and then I get petted and told that I'm the greatest ...but last night it was different...She asked about supper...she wanted to know where supper was...frankly I wonder that every night when she walks through the door ...but last night it realized she meant HER supper ...not mine...WHAAAAAT  ???...So now I'm expected to fix the meals around here too ???...Really ???...I'm already in charge of house patrol...I make sure that the mail man and the all delivery people are nervous about even stepping on the porch...bike riders and anyone on MY sidewalk better have good excuse for being there...and this all applies to the library too...I've taken that responsibility on without being asked...its my neighborly duty...I'm also in charge of keeping all stray plates and dishes clean and that includes pre-rinsing too...I really see no need for a dishwasher and vacuum...crumbs are my specialty...  I'm more than happy to help but Debbie frowns on this activity...Trashcans...well if they need emptied I handle that too...Dumping them out apparently isn't the best way but the can is empty just the same...I'm a great carpet and floor warmer ...and doorway blocking... its one of my greatest abilities...and in my eyes my most important job is making sure that Maggie stays in her kingdom upstairs...but in spite of all this I'm now expected to feed my humans Lucey the WonderDog   P S...I bet if the humans got a taste of that nasty diet food I'm on they might change their minds on what I'm fed and share their food with me...maybe this problem could work to my advantage...

...  I'm really hoping Deb was just having "one of those days" ... So I'll be closing now and take a little nap...after that I guess I'll have to consider sharing some of my dog food when they get home tonight...Love...Lucey the WonderDog

Dylan !!!

Dear Diary...It's been kind of a difficult summer...There have been lots of thunderstorms and as much as Debbie tells me that they can't hurt me I still get scared !!!...and the mosquitoes...I can't go outside to enjoy my walks even if it isn't raining...Now it hasn't been all bad...there have been some really good things that have happened... The air conditioning is on and I love that...and so far I have avoided a trip to the groomer although I think my time on that one is limited...Debbie grumbles every time she vacuums...Best thing has been a visit from Dylan...He stopped by to visit me a week ago or so...the humans think he was there for them but I know it was really me he wanted to see...I hadn't seen Dylan for awhile but I remembered him...and I  made real sure he knew it too...I barked and jumped and ran and barked and jumped and ran some more...I sat at his feet so he could pet me and when that wasn't enough I got on the forbidden couch and crawled into his lap just make it easier for him...no one could call me a bad hostess...I went out of my to make him feel welcome...I had forgotten what a good "ear scratcher" he was...gosh it was good to see him and I could tell that everyone here was  as happy as me...He lives in a place called Columbus just like Remy does...I've never got to go on one of the Columbus trips but I sure would like to...I usually end up at the "doggy hotel" for a couple of days when those trips come up...say...I wonder if they could let me visit Dylan the next time they go to Buckeyeland and I bet he would let me stay with him...He said he was staying in a real nice place...Looks like I  have some thinking and scheming to do...Love until next time...Lucey the WonderDog...P S ...I would ask to stay at Remy's but I've overheard that a cat lives in his house and she's crazier than HRH Maggie if that's at all possible...Bella...her name is Bella...

Dear Nice Lady That Came To Visit...

Dear Diary...This "heartfelt" letter is for someone else...

Dear Nice Lady That Came To Visit...  Hi!!! ...It's me...the naughty dog that decided to look through your purse without asking...I liked you as soon as you came in the door...I could tell right away that you were a dog person...I bet you've got one of your own !!!..You kinda remind me of my Grandma...I sure do miss her ...she always talked to me and petted me...AND let me get away with stuff that I shouldn't do...so anyway...Debbie has explained to me ...(again)...that its not polite to get into ladies purses...she said that its one of life's "no-no" s ... I knew DEBBIE didn't like it but I honestly didn't know that ALL ladies are protective of their purse...it must be like me and my toys...just the thought of Maggie touching my toys is more than I can stand... I sure hope I didn't hurt anything...but Kleenex is something that I just can't resist...I've been known to sneak it out of other purses and trashcans...Kleenex makes trashcan diving worth all the effort...I've promised not to do this again but I wouldn't put any bets on it... I find them just too tempting... Lots of love to you and its OK with me and my family for you to visit anytime...Closing this with my best "puppy-eye" look...Lucey the WonderDog...P S ... Debbie sure had  good time talking with the other lady that you brought with you ...Shes STILL talking about it...and there was a real nice man that came too...I wanted to sit in the chair with him but Larry and Debbie said NO...sheesh...I can't catch a break ...

I Knew It...I Smelled It Too...

Dear Diary...I knew it ...I smelled it too...It was so bad I could hardly stand myself...In my defense it wasn't completely my fault...When the weather is nice I spend time outdoors too just like the humans do and some things are just bound to happen ...(and I know that its also time to go see the dreaded groomer too)...When I heard the bathwater I knew it was for me... I thought about giving Larry a bad time but I knew I wouldn't win that battle and besides Deb was there as a backup scrubber...I really never had a chance...I sat in the living room for a bit with my head down...trying to look as sad as possible...didn't work...I tried the "slow walk with tail down and chin dragging"...that didn't work either... I sat next to the bathtub all by myself without being called in there...even that was no help...Would you believe the humans actually thought that I was just showing what a good dog I am by "volunteering" all on my own...???...Hardly... The plan was that they would feel sorry for me...Nope...they were proud of my actions...I do admit to feeling better now... I got a triple shampoo with a conditioner spray and more towels used than necessary kind of bath...Debbie complained that the bathroom that she just cleaned needed cleaned again...Hey...I tried to help  out...I made sure to shake as much water off of me as possible to help with the mopping...how was I to  know that they weren't finished yet and I was still  covered with soap ???...Clean bathroom ???...She has one now ...and clean towels too...I hear she ran them through the washer twice...Between you and me I always here Debbie talk about being tired...well "overkill" on some of this stuff could be the reason...I even tried to help her relax after the bath ordeal was over by showing her the way to her chair and jump up there to sit with her...WOW...she may have been tired by not so tired to yell at me for being there...Pardon me for forgetting that her chair matches the forbidden couch ...I could have been right on her "spot" but I knew better than that...I was on the other side...There's no pleasing some people...Feeling shiny, clean, fresh and more social...Love...Lucey the WonderDog...P S I wonder what trick I could come up with to avoid the groomer ???...any suggestions would be helpful....:)

Tipsy Cat ...

Dear Diary...Wow ...Its been a long time since I've talked to you...Its not that its been quiet around here...hardly !!!...Lots of stuff is always going on...but Debbie has been sick for awhile and just didn't feel like writing for me...Oh ...she tried a couple of times but she said she just didn't have it in her to write...I knew something was wrong...I've gotten away with more naughty stuff  lately than I usually do... Debbie has cleaned up after me without yelling and let me eat some stuff I usually am not allowed ...she actually watched Larry give me popcorn a few days ago and didn't say a word...all this points to a Debbie that's not well...:(...but...good news...she's started getting after me and I've gotten "the look" a few times too...that means that she's better... that's great because I noticed that she's been extra chummy with Maggie lately...and it all happened because Debbie has been sleeping more...that cat took advantage of it too...I can only guess what went on upstairs...  I can just see Maggie warming up Debbie's spot in the bed and then snuggling up to her to keep her warm and gently patting her face to see if she's OK and playing with cough drops until she gets the wrapper off for her and checking the temperature of her water to make sure its just right while taking a drink of it for herself...sheesh...makes ME sick just thinking about it !!!...Yea...well I know what Maggie really was doing...She ALWAYS sleeps on Debbie's spot in the bed and she loves to play with cough drops or anything else that she can chase around ...and patting people on the face is a sport with this cat ...and as for drinking out of Debbie's cup...I saw her put some stuff called whiskey in there...I bet ol' Maggie slept more after that sip than usual even though Debbie says she got it away from her...Maggie is sneaky and I bet she got a taste anyway...Now that Debbie is better maybe she will be MY buddy and stop this nonsense with the cat...Maybe Maggie can fool her but not me...say...now that Deb is thinking more clearly she will see the situation for what it really is... this is WonderDog Territory !!!  ... Until next time...and that will be soon...Debbie promised...Love...Lucey the WonderDog...P S ...In hindsight I should have risked breaking down the gate to see a tipsy Maggie...it would have been worth a weeks trashcan diving to see...:)

The Day Started Out Alright....

Dear Diary ... The day started out alright ...or so I thought ... A couple of days ago the humans in the house where awake and all seemed fine ... I got to watch the normal morning routine ... Breakfast being made ... Lucey-proofing the house ...unsure emoticon... Humans rushing around ... I had my walk and was fed ... Then they leave for someplace called "the office"... Larry went there but I'm pretty sure Debbie didn't ... She came back later than she usually does ... Happy ... Smiling ...asking " Where's my dog ???" ...the normal stuff ... but things were far from normal ... I ran up to Debbie to greet her ... What's this ?!?!?... the aroma of another dog ... ANOTHER DOG !!!... This can't be right ... First you need to know that I have a problem even believing that other dogs exist ... Debbie has repeatedly told me that they do ... but ...another dog ... and she confessed that it was TWO dogs !!!... Now this has happened before but when it does she's always been gone longer than she was this time ... That means that these other dogs are closer to home ... I decided to be the bigger dog though and still give Debbie her "hello kiss" ... I knew right away that she had been dog kissed too ... Seriously ?!?!?...seems that some dog named Bella licked her ear and another called Chuck tried to taste her eyeshadow !!! ... Debbie said not to worry but... Well ... This is a bit hard to take ... Listen up Chuck and Bella ... I'll let it go this time ... Debbie is a push over for dogs ... But she's my human ... got it ?!?... Feeling a little rejected ... Love ... Lucey the WonderDog ... P S ... I sure hope there were no dog treats involved ... Belly rubs I can accept but dog treats 

Her Royal Highness Maggie ???

Dear Diary ...Her Royal Highness Maggie ???...I don't think so...I overheard the most interesting story a few days ago... A story that makes me happy...Happier than anything I've heard in a long time...A morsel of information better than peanut butter on a Dorito...Yea...It's that good ...  Let me start from the beginning...It occurred to me that I've told you the story of how I came to live in the Tope household...but you've never heard the story of Maggot ( so sorry... Remy calls her that all the time !)...I mean" Maggie" the cat...Maggie lived here for a couple of years before I did ...that COULD explain why she doesn't like me...(I took her place)... I'm told that Maggie was born in a cardboard box on a cement floor on a porch ...indoors...and  that Maggie's mom had never had kittens before and did everything for her babies but FEED them...not good...the humans that lived in the house fed Maggie and her brothers and sisters by hand until they were big enough to eat on their own...( I can imagine that this could be a difficult task )...So all Maggie has ever known is the indoors and blankets and pillows and humans...I understand that her dainty paws have never ever touched dirt or grass...unbelievable huh !?!?!?...that also explains a lot !!!...Now for the good part...her name wasn't originally Maggie...it was changed shortly before she moved here...Maggie is a small cat ...always was...she was something called a "runt of the litter" and that's why Debbie chose her for her very own...She's small...very small...so small she was named...MAGGOT !!!...That's the best news in like EVER !!! Remy has been right this whole time and he never knew it ...snicker...snicker... But I guess Maggot isn't the best name to have so it was shortened to a more acceptable Maggie...It took eight years for me to find this out...and Debbie too...Just let ol' Maggot try to hold anything over me again...I'm ready for the next time...Her Royal Highness...yea right !!!  ... Signing off now and I'm  one happy puppy ...Love...Lucey the WonderDog...P S ...You know I really didn't take Maggie's place now that I think of it...there's enough love in this house for both of us...I just don't think Maggie sees it that way ...Both of us have a special job in this house...we love our humans no matter what ...Hey...Looks like this love stuff is a two way street !!!...<3...HAPPY VALENTINES DAY !!!

I've Missed You...

Dear Diary... It's been some time since I've talked to you...I've missed you ... Not too much has happened here at the WonderDog home...mostly the humans talk about all the snow and cold and try to figure out ways to avoid dealing with it... Debbie has shoveled out special paths for me to use on my walks outside but I've chosen not to use them...jumping through the snow drifts and finding my own way is a lot more fun...But just attempting to go outside is an adventure all in itself...Its cold and slippery out there...I don't like ice...I've slipped and fell several times...not fun...and  I've discovered that peeing in the driveway is NOT acceptable in this household...Wow...she was mad...Hey...could have been worse...:)...AND if you linger too long out there on some days you could be in danger of freezing fast to the drifts...I have enough of an imagination to know that that wouldn't be a good situation...This WonderDog has had several embarrassing trips to the vets office in the past ...a frozen bottom isn't going to be added to the list...(Note to Remy...Did you notice I said "bottom" instead of "whoohaa"...don't want to be in trouble with you again)... One day I jumped in the snow only to find that it was at least 12 inches deep...I have really short legs so getting back to Debbie was no easy task... would she come in and rescue me ???..NO !!!...once I got out she did let me dry off on the floor furnace in the living room...but I had to walk back in the house all by myself...if Larry had taken me out there he would have carried me back in ...:)... all I have to do is limp a bit and whine...gets you carried in every time !!!... Debbie doesn't fall for that one as easy as Larry does... She just tells me that if I had stuck to the path I wouldn't be so cold and then tells me to warm up on the furnace... I have noticed that she finds my blanket for me though...that must be Debbie's way of caring...That's all for now...I have so much to do this afternoon and I need to get busy with it...need to gather up my blanket and the big fluffy one that the humans use from the forbidden couch...get a couple of toys and curl up near the heat...it's a stressful existence but this WonderDog will get the job done !!!   Lots of love ...Lucey <3

The January Blues...

Dear Diary...It's quiet here today...but that's ok I guess...the Christmas tree is history until next holiday season...I really miss it...I had the branches in one spot under it bent to just the right spot for scratching...now its gone...and the ornaments on it...gone...I tried to save one for myself but Larry caught me and took it away...I growled about it and it did nothing but get me in more trouble...sheesh...one lousy decoration...you would think they could spare one...Most of the extra food in the house...yea...that's gone too...You know how I know that ???..a trashcan dive yesterday yielded wrappers from summer sausage...cheese...Doritos...all my favorite things...gone...the only treat missing was peanut butter and I found that on the counter top well out of my reach...All the good stuff ...gone...I did manage to get into some of the food wrappers and shred them under the dining room table...Debbie yelled at me for it and I growled about that too but it didn't help ...then she used that stupid vacuum to clean up the mess...now the mess is  gone too...and I wasn't finished with it...gone...all gone...this WonderDog has the January Blues...too depressed to finish this............