Do I Know The Meaning Of...???

Dear Diary...Do I know the meaning of the word "NO" ???...well of course I do...Now that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to follow the order but I DO know what it means...There are days when I just plain don't feel like following the rules....and you can't tell me that humans always obey the rules either...I've watched...I've listened to it...I know...So that being said why can't I occasionally have those days when the rules can be broken ???...I know very well that the couch is a forbidden spot to sleep...so what...you do it...and I also know that chasing Maggie isn't allowed but she deserves it most of the time...and trashcan diving...well...you're the one who put the tempting treat in there so BACK OFF !!!...Ya know...some days I just don't want to take a bath...or chase the ball...or go outside...and  if I'm asleep...good grief...don't wake me up for bathroom duty !!!...I'll let you know when I need to go ...even if it is 3am...How would you like someone to do that to you ???...Call me "grumpy" or "bad dog"...you deserved to be growled at !!!...In the last few weeks I've put up with mosquito bites on parts of me I don't care to discuss...and the fleas...well...there's a special place that I'm certain is reserved just for them when they die because they bit me first and got a dose of the medicine I've also had to have lately...and the baths that I normally love ???...not so great on scratched sensitive skin...Do I have an attitude problem ???...you bet I do...and rightly so...I'm heading back to the spot where my bed used to be (I haven't got the bed back yet...thank you to the fleas for that one too )...I'm taking another nap...I'd appreciate it if the humans and that stupid cat would leave me alone...Not feeling the love for much of anything...Lucey the WonderDog...P S...And someone needs to tell the humans that as much as I love my Ohio State sweater I've had it on for four days now and it's not mixing with the warmer weather we've been having...I'd like to have it washed for the next game...and altered...I am 15 pounds lighter than when you got it for me...Another P S...Sorry...<3